One of the most often heard responses to loss is “It just takes time.” We have all heard it, and probably have all said it. How true is it and, if it is true, how much time does it take to heal the pains of sadness when one has lost a loved one?
What is true is that everything changes as time passes. grief coaching The emotional state that you might be in at this time, depending on when the death occurred, will definitely change as time passes. There will be days that you seem to feel better; yet, there will be days when you seem to have regressed. This is the nature of grief. So, if you are searching for a specific ‘time-clock recipe’ for grief, I must inform you that there isn’t one.
While I share the statistic that it can take anywhere from five to eight years to recover from a devastating loss, I also share with you good news… it doesn’t have to take that long. My father died many years ago and it indeed took me over five years to begin to get through the grief process. My mother passed away one year ago; and, although the normal and natural emotions of grief are still with me, I’ve been able to move through the process and do the grief work instead of waiting on time alone.
If we simply wait on time, expecting it to do the work of healing our grief, time will pass and time will pass, but we will stand still in our grief like quicksand. What do we do to move forward? We have to do the grief work. We have to acknowledge that the emotions we are feeling are natural and normal. We have to accept that we can’t go back and change or redo the past. Then, we have to take action on moving forward.